'Freaking Out!'

Ok, so I am leaving the country, my family, my friends, my home, and everything inbetween in exactly 2 weeks. I am freaking out!!! You see, this fact just hit me yesterday, so I'm slowly coping with the urgency of it all.

I'm not really sure what constitutes 'freaking out' in its generally accepted sense, but I will tell you my definition. When I am 'freaking out,' there are usually some physical reactions that I cannot control. For instance, right now I am experiencing shortness of breath along with endless thoughts racing through my mind. I would definitely classify this as 'freaking out.' Often times, when 'freaking out,' I find my emotions taking control of my body. This is not a comforting feeling and it definitely exacerbates my condition. It's quite cyclical...but if you ask me, most things are cyclical. C'mon, try me. Name something, anything, and I'll explain to you the cyclical nature of it. Deepthi seems to have a theory on dualities, but I have a theory on cycles...hmmm...I will further develop this theory and get back to it at a later date. I am too busy 'freaking out' to think clearly.

Other things that have induced a state of 'freaking out' recently:
-Discussing my basketball team's last game of my senior year...whew...don't get me started about this one...
-Having to go back to work after having an entire week off...it's like pulling hairs!! (ok, that might be the first time that I have ever used that phrase...I'm not sure how I feel about it...)
-Oh, and whenever I see the video for Bonecrusher - I Ain't Never Scared...AHHHHH!! It just irks me!!! It's completely irrational, but that guy causes me to 'freak out' just at the sight of him.

Well, all I can say, is you better pray that you never have to see me 'freaking out' - it ain't pretty. (A better way to insure this is to never bring up the aformentioned incidences, as this will not only cause me to 'freak out,' but I will be inclined to see you as a provoker...furthering the cycle...) Wow, this post is sure giving everyone a better understanding of the innerworkings of Courtney's mind (if that's possible).

On a lighter note, here's an excerpt from an interesting conversation of mine:

ME: Wanna know something weird?

My Mother: Maybe.

ME: I know exactly what I would wear if someone were to call me
up and say, 'Courtney, it is time to save the world.'

My Mother: Really?

ME: ....(actual description has been omited for security reasons)

My Brother: That's stupid!

ME: Oh yeah? What would you wear then?

My Brother: A cape!

This not only provides evidence for my severe 'superhero-complex,' but also my failure to state the obvious. My brother is much more gifted at this and at observation in general.

Well, I must get back to 'freaking out' - let's hope it's not as long between posts this time!